Coupon Fantatics

I’ve recently taken a part time job in retail…

I had to let that sit for just a bit. Actually, I really like it (granted I’m only going off my 2^nd day) but I enjoy retail. YES, I like clothes and shopping and just the whole way stores smell….I even like working with my most of my customers!! Look at the word MOST, that’s a key factor in any of my future posts about my job…

But, I want to shed some light on coupons…those pesky little pieces of dying trees (yes, I went there!) that make up about 40% of trash in your home, car, bags, or wherever you throw them. Working in retail, I have a new ideas about how these “golden tickets” that cause havoc in my new word of retail.

The fine print. Those little words can either leave my customers feeling defeated or just out right attacked. That yes, ME, with my over huge smile (because everything I do is done ornately!) and trendy outfit have just taken your god given discounts away…

Sadly, no. I would love to give you the discount and I don’t understand the rules that “corporate” makes…I’m just the messenger that brings forth their final say in what they deem as the gregarious gift for being a loyal customer to our stores.

What to watch for: coupons not being used with other coupons or DISCOUNTS (example: senior citizens); cannot be used during special shopping hours (example: early bird hours); or even weird ending prices (!!! I know, I just realized stores did this one). Take heed my fellow shoppers and coupon fanatics!!

Simple math. When ringing up the total and the customers realizes that anything under %30 is really just paying for your taxes. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve walked into numerous stores with the “golden ticket” of %20 off feeling this euphoria to what I assume the Kardashians must feel when shopping—to when that final total is rung up. That nope, I’m not a Kardashian, nor do I have their budget, but I’m a normal person who just maybe over spent on things that I didn’t need.

DATES! I’m still a victim to this!! Who honestly pays attention to dates, except maybe our extreme couponers (which kudos to yall!! Round of applause that you’re that dedicated); but for what I assume the majority of us do, we don’t look at dates. We’ve got a stinking coupon and for once it’s more than just %30 percent…it’s an actual%50!! You’ve stashed this little gift from the retail gods, in a special little place, so when the opportunity presented itself you could use it. BUT, then that over smiling over trendy dressed sale assistant mumbles (because we know, we know how you’re going to react) “I’m sorry the coupon expired”. The word darkens, clouds assemble overhead, small children scurry to sanctuary and you realize that you’ve been wronged!

Coupons…what can I say. They don’t make the world go round, but in retail they make my job just that much more interesting…

Hair 101 or not...

           To my fellow females, today my blog is dedicated to you and to the future females of the world. How many of us have spent ideal hours on the dreaded “Pintrest,” this is not a time for shame…we’ve all done it. They’ve got recipes, inspirational quotes, and of course wonderful “how tos” for any personality. So who could blame us for spending hours upon hours of filtering fun. 

            Ahhh but today, let’s rethink those wonderful (insert numerical value)5 minute easy hair styles for any hair type... Don’t judge ladies, we’ve all glanced at them, because honestly when it comes to maintaining the mane, not many of us can walk out of the bathroom just leaving it to its own devices. If I did that on the regular, I'm sure I'd have to attach a disclaimer when out in public!

            Let me shed some light on the battle these oh so easy hair style guides present themselves; or maybe I'm the only who has hair that is this difficult. So filtering threw several posts and finally selecting among the ever so popular "Buzzwothy.com" I'm ready to transform my hair into Volia! what will be my life changing hair do for the day!! (Disclaimer: I love Buzzwothy and am no way shaming their wonderful articles!!)

            I begin scrolling along the choices….ehhh my hair can’t pull that off…that looks worse than my hair at the moment…ohh maybe..nope! to many steps…but wait…I like this one..yeah…let me click to make it bigger! Because this is what we’ve all done we’ve clicked on those articles. You look through the pictures and start marking off in your brain whether you even have the skills at the moment to pull that off. Then finding a picture you click on it to make it bigger, because honestly you can really see what she’s doing in those pictures! Because this majestic work of art should only take a matter of minutes to complete, they just show pictures and no directions…UM! WTF!?? Sure, how hard could it be? It’s just hair, it’s just pulling hair that way and this way…wrong! It’s so much more…I know you’re sitting there nodding!! Honestly how can I tell what she’s doing with that hand and where did she pull that piece of hair from….then you look at the next pictures and it might as well be a different head of hair! Seriously it went from simple bobby pin insertion and now her head of hair is becoming this magical majestically hair dream… If for some reason a guy is reading this…you should stop…like seriously, go watch ESPN!

            After scrunching my eyes to comprehend what this obviously talented creature has performed in these pictures (Who’s taking the pictures? How does she look so good just ala natural? I know if I just snapped a picture of myself I’d need a least several filters…I HATE THIS WOMAN) I begin to work on my hair.

5 minutes later, I’m still trying to understand how my hair looks nothing like the picture…”teasing” just made my hair look like a frizz ball, did she use hairspray or maybe unwashed hair?! Those beautiful hair twisting things I attempted look like, I just didn’t brush my hair from this weekend…I QUIT!

10 minutes later…I just combined what I know I can do, hair spray, oh cute bobby pin thing and side part and VOLIA!  Just like the picture!! I knew I could do this!! All done in less…well now…crap! I’m late again…

Sooo in conclusion…I would like a real article, with detailed play by plays of the calamity that may ensue when performing such tasks. Because, I know and you know, the hair we carry with us…is own little personal cross we deal with on a daily basis...