Yeah, I'm going to bitch about this....

Maybe I don’t have a right to talk about this or even feel the way I do about the situation I’ve experienced at school lately; I don’t know but I do know I get really heated and all out of sorts with my emotions. I think of all the injustices in the world and the one that affects me the most is child abuse. I don’t even know where to begin on that soap box. I feel like I’m always getting the students who are coming from these crappy situations at home and I have to play mother. Do I mind? No, I’d bring them home if I could, in a heartbeat, no questions, no second thoughts about it. But, it kills me to see my students having to face such adult like situations at the mere ages of 5/6. Makes you rethink the whole G-man, or maybe why would such a wonderful being would let those things happen. He has his reasons, even though I’ll never understand, that I’m pretty sure of.

I think what angers me the most is the parent’s attitude of trying to make me look like the bad person. I want to jump up and down, stomping my feet and point out that, I’m trying to keep your child safe from you, the person whom they love the most and need the most, yet you’re the person who’s hurting them the most, mentally & physically—but sure call me the bad guy. I’m the monster of a person, even though I pick up the pieces daily and re-patch whatever I can mentally, give them the love and support they’re obviously lacking at home. I get it, I understand, sometimes life just throws these horrible curve balls at us, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re ignoring your child or taking out your frustrations on them---goodness they’re under the age of 7, they had nothing to do with the reasons why life can be so crappy, they’re victims too.

I pray every day for my students, some more than others, and I pray that I can be given the strength and guidance to help them and even foster love for these students. I thank my stars that my parents were really wonderful to me and that my niece and nephew are so lucky to have the parents they have. I see so many students whose parents have this mentality that their children’s needs are not a priority.

And as if I don’t already feel bad about putting the calls into CPS, but I get the calls from the parents as well—these attitudes like I did something wrong. Yes, I forgot, I’m supposed to ignore the huge bruise that is on your child’s face and the look of complete sadness and lack of life in your child’s eyes. I’m sure the next few days are going to be a bed of roses, but I’ll somehow survive it. I think I do it mostly for my students; I’ll gladly step into the fire for their sake, no matter how ugly things will get or how awful I’ll be treated or looked upon. I’m the only person they have who will fight that hard, to make sure they come out on top. Yes, it means me taking an emotional beating daily, but if not me then who? If their support system at home is a complete failure, how will these children survive the next 13 years of their lives? I don’t think people realize how much a teacher will do for their students; to make sure they’re potential is met or at least attempted. I don’t want the extra pay everyone cries about, I just want people to realize that their children lives are just as important as their own. Don’t get me wrong; there are some wonderful, amazing parents out there, but not everyone gets dealt those parents—those parents are a minority. I’m not sure what the future holds for the children who are growing up right now, I can only hope and pray that they be granted some happiness and love along the way, if not by their parents, then by others who truly care about them. So, share the love people, share the love. Peace & Love always….

Brrr...Baby I'ts Cold Outside...

     As the storm of the century hit most of the country and everyone tried to stay warm, I baked. I have this silly idea that I could maybe become an owner of a bakery shop/book store. John and I loved talking about baking, especially homemade baked goods, and what made something beyond delicious. We also loved to talk books, what the author was thinking or what they meant by the story. I miss those talks greatly. Baking and reading are still very crucial to my everyday life, sure I don’t get to discuss those topics with him anymore, but I’m sure he’s watching my attempts at trying to be the next Paula Dean or Julia Childs. I think about how he hated the cold with such a passion and how we’d discuss our ideas of running off to some warm beach to live our lives as jewel thieves!! Kind of makes me wonder, what if we’d done just that—the running to the beach, not so much the jewel thievery. We were huge dreamers and we just wanted to live life with as much fun as possible, not to mention the crazy adventures. I can easily say that this past year, I’ve totally slacked on that former self. I miss that person and I didn’t even realize how I’d stop being that person. It’s moments like when I’ll find myself laughing loudly at something and my parents looking at me then at each other with a look of “what do we do, she’s laughing? Should we laugh too?” Or when I’m being silly and dancing around or pulling pranks on my family, they give each other looks of we haven’t seen this person in a long time and it’s nice to see she’s coming back. I feel my own personal winter storm is coming to an end, because I’m of being so sad.

     Now, as for my beloved Texas, I hope Mother Nature is done. All this winter weather is kind of a drag. Boiling hot water to use for dishes, rolling blackouts, or being stuck indoors for several days gets old pretty quickly. To think when I first heard the news of the “impending doom” that would soon reach us, I giggled. I didn’t think it was anything to start stressing about, I figured a few days of miserable cold weather, which meant dressing in extra layers. When a fellow teacher was running around like Penny Henny advising us to make preparations (propane, water, etc) due to the winter storm that was headed our way, I thought, drraaaammmmaaattticc. I lived in a city for several years were school was not canceled unless over a certain number of accidents on the highway occurred and a there had to be more than a 1 foot of snow on the ground. So the news reports of weather being in the negatives, didn’t send me into a panic, I just made sure I had all my layers to go. The difference back in my home town is that they don’t have to experience this sort of weather on a regular basis, not to mention the unseen misfortune of power outages; so of course things went chaotic. But, I see our sun is back out today and many of the town locals are dealing with the aftermath of frozen pipes. So, I do hope Mr. Groundhog was right and spring is coming sooner or milder winter weather is headed our way. As for myself, I’m mentally preparing for an earlier spring. Stay warm my readers, peace and love always….